I suffer from a lot of health issues including Chronic Pain and a Chronic Illness.
Before I get into it, I just want to say this: I’ve talked about my health here and there, so maybe some of this, you may know already. I haven’t fully come out and talked about everything officially for a few reasons. It’s taken me a while to accept these things and be comfortable enough talking about them in detail because a lot of it is very personal. I never wanted to seem like I was complaining about it. The fact is, yes, my health sucks, and, yes, there are people out there struggling more than I am. I was worried that people would treat me differently if they knew. My number one goal in putting this information out there is to be honest, educational and hopefully explain my situation, not to gain pity in any form.
The Chronic Illness that I have is called Endometriosis. Essentially this means that tissue found inside the uterus can grow outside of the uterus, causing lots of pain and other issues. I was officially diagnosed about 4 years ago, but I’ve been dealing with it for 15 years now. A lot of people still don’t know about this disorder because it has to do with women’s reproductive systems and, man, are those yucky and gross and not worth learning about. I think it’s important to be open about it.
The symptoms of Endo vary from person to person, but my symptoms include…
Extremely painful and irregular periods
Constant fatigue
Abdominal pain
Pelvic pain
When I have my period, these symptoms are at their worst, but I’ve learned recently that the rest of these symptoms can happen any time, and they sure do. This illness has negatively affected my daily life as well as opportunities, my employment, and relationships. This illness has also been impacted by other health issues that I’ve been diagnosed with including…
Chronic Pain (Back and Knees)
Chronic Migraines
Depression
Anxiety
ADHD
OCD
It’s a lot to have to deal with sometimes and keep in check. I hate that I have these issues, but I’ve come to accept that they are a part of who I am.
Like I said before, I don’t want sympathy for all this. I just want people to be aware that this is my situation and because of these things, I can’t always be there, mentally or physically. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there, just means that I can’t. I’m what is known as a “Spoonie,” which is a term used to describe people living with Chronic Illnesses. It means some days I don’t have enough energy to do all the things I want to do that day. Some days I have less “spoons” to give out. Some days I wake up and can eat breakfast and have to go back to bed because I have a migraine and my pain is so bad. Some days I can accomplish much, much more. But every day is played by ear, and every day is a gamble. So… you haven’t heard from me in a while? I haven’t streamed in weeks? I haven’t made art in a month? These are the reasons why. These health issues don’t make me unique in any way. I’m not asking for anything but a little patience if I go MIA for a bit, because man, do I feel guilty about it.
That’s all I’ll say about this for now. I might talk more specifically about my experience living with these things, but for now I think I’ve said all I want. I’m open to talking about this with anyone who wants to know more, so if you have any questions about anything, please feel free to reach out or comment below.
In other news, I hope everyone had a great Holiday and New Year’s! Take care of yourselves!
♥︎ - Finch